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{September 5, 2010}   Not Destroyed

I sleep in the most wonderful place in the world.  I have my good-hearted husband asleep with his arms around me on one side, and our sweet baby Max cuddled up against me on the other.  I call this my love sammich and I get it all the time.

The last 2, almost 3, years of my life have been so wonderfully amazing, dreadfully hard, and the best of my life.  I used to be in a place where I only knew lonliness, desperation, fear, worry, self-inflicted torment, and an overall sense of lostness and unusedness (I just made that a new word).  Not only that but I was VERY selfish…secretly.

I wish I had found Christ earlier in life, understood what the cross was in my heart rather than just in my head.  But, we all have our time I suppose, if we ever really want to know God.

God took me from misery to joy and peace.  He’s amazing.  Not only does He desire us to be reunited with Him, to save us from the place we are all originally destined, that is Hell, but he doesn’t stop there.  I mean, salvation from Hell would be enough wouldn’t it?  I mean, I know I will NEVER in this life really comprehend what exactly the Hell is that I’m saved from, but I DO know that if God chose to simply keep me from that and do nothing else for me in this life, that would be enough.

But Christ also said, “…I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (NIV) or, for you NKJV fans, “…I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” John 10:10

He brought me from death, my condemnation by sin to Hell, to life and THEN he gives me a life on earth of ABUNDANCE!  Not to say that I don’t suffer bad things or that evil never touches me (we live in an evil world, it touches us all) but He has indeed blessed my heart and soul.  He puts me in awe, He captivates me, astounds me, and lately He just overwhelms me by His goodness toward me.  Me.  What Joy.

I suffer evil, I suffer hurt, I suffer some of my past…but there is peace.  And when the devil or my flesh is working against me, shoving the past in my face and twisting the knife in my chest I cry out to my Father, the one to loves me, and He saves me again.  My suffering is washed away in one fell sweep and I have abounding joy in the truth that I see…life has changed and Jesus is my safety.

Gratitude.  That’s all that has been in my heart for God these days.  I can’t help it.  It pours out of my heart in prayer before other things.

There’s another part to John 10:10, the first part:

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy” (NKJV)

Even in my previous life of misery I thought I was happy.  I was fooled, stuck in the world and in my flesh.  The devil had me fooled. But then, Jesus changed it all and poured out true love and goodness in my life.  Shortly after, the devil came after me hardcore.  He challenged my loyalty and obedience to God in the worst way, attacking my most vulnerable place.  He tore me to shreds, tempted me to destroy something sacred, ripped me up, and left me bleeding.  I had resisted him, but I have scars.

But God, my Father, Christ is ever faithful.  The devil hasn’t been able to touch me, but he does like to remind me of my scars when he can.

The thief comes to destroy, but Christ came to give life.  I was broken, Christ lifted me, bandaged me, and spoke peace over my scars.  I am far from destroyed.

Why do I say all this, and throw it out to the interwebs?  I’m not sure really.  I just know where I came from and I like to write my heart.  So, there’s a piece of it.  enjoy.

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Crystal Standley says:

I love you, girl!



thank you for ‘throwing this out on the interweb’. 🙂

it is nice to be ‘reminded’. I’ve known him from since forever & sometimes we forget his goodness, that he does want to give us a life in abundance.

lately i feel a bit like Job of old, perhaps that is His goodness as well, affording us the opportunity to love him, not because ‘life is good’ in ‘all’ respects, but just because he is.

enjoy the ‘new life’ & ‘remember’. 😉



Salomé says:

When I think of you and our friendship… I praise God.
I’m thankful that you shared a part of your heart over the interwebs.
It’s encouraging to me to hear that you continue to grow =]



I don’t always feel like I’m growing, that’s for sure, but even when times feel silent we know He’s there, don’t we. 🙂 Miss you friend!!



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